Finding A Little Slice of Reality

“Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths—it is a great truth because once we see this truth, we transcend it."
~ page 1, The Road Less Traveled by Dr. M. Scott Peck. MD

Life is difficult. With apologies to Dr. Peck, if I may steal his opening line and use it as my own. More poingantly . . . life is fucking hard. To harsh? Maybe you haven't lived enough or long enough - life sucks. But that's not the end of it . . . life is also what we make of it. Even though there is a turd in the punch bowl of life, we can all chose how we will relate and act. It's my reality and at the close of today . . . I'm chosing the positive.

Two days ago I fired my contractor "Steve". He wasn't getting the job done the way my wife and I wanted. Of course he claims he went out of his way to do everything he could. You know, before I hang this hat totally on him let me reflect a bit. (A necessary introspection?) I thought I was hot shit. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I had him handled. Truth is I am inexperienced, naive, and tend to see the best in people. This often means people walk on me, but it was my hubris that occured before this fall. I gave him $5500 dollars up front. Please save the comments - I NOW know this is wrong. We had to have a lot of plumbing work done - he reassured me this was at no additional cost. So when I ask to sever the business relationship, and to recieve a partial refund of my money I am now told that I actualy OWE him $4700. I'm not joking. The caveat here is that if I don't go after him for my partial refund, he will not countersue me for the $4700. Seriously. I don't know what you do with people like this. I probably could win this bitch, but I'm not willing to call him on it. I've got a pair of 10's and the flop gives me one more - three of a kind . . . nice - but what I see out there is 10, J, Q, all clubs, and the man across from me is betting into the hand, hard. Is he bluffing? Fuck I don't know, and since I'm a bit short stacked, I'll let the asshole have this hand. Some work was done, and I grant that, but not $5500 worth of work and I think I'm entitled to about $2000 back - two bathrooms half-done, I can't shower yet, no carpet in the family or living room, and I'm having to do the title clean-up myself. Someone got the better end of this deal and it wasn't your humble correspondant . . .

I was pissed. Sick almost all day long, no appetite, very angry, very troubled, and existentialism? FUCK existentialism! But I was jogging this evening and I had a nice long angry talk with God ala Job pissed about the loss of his wife, children, and livestock, but to top it off . . . boils?! FUCKING BOILS?! Give me a fucking break God! And then it happened . . . nothing as dramatic as the verbal smackdown laid by God to Job out of the tornado, but pretty personally significant nontheless . . . the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh . . . blessed be the name of the Lord. He's in control, not me. Vengence is His, not mine. I am to pray for my enemies. I am to forgive those who do me wrong. God handles the rest and he KNOWS who has harmed his child. So that's when I gave it up . . . it's His now, and tommarow is a new day. How's that for meaning? How is that for life?

This life is all about the trial. We have to put in our time. We have to be pained. We have to deal with those things that confront us. In the end that's growth - REAL spiritual growth and the only kind that really matters. My search for meaning kicked me in the balls, but I get it . . . I'm learning, living, and loving.

Till next time . . . try and keep your tution in the classroom of life to a minimum, I seem to be picking up the slack . . .