Boning out

“I haven't a clue as to how my story will end. But that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude the road has vanished. And how else could we discover the stars?”
~ Unknown

It's my last night in California. I've made my peace, and I'm ready to go . . . I think. Honestly, if I didn't have to turn in my stuff for whole person care in the morning, I'd be gone. (John - I get it) I watched the sun go down this evening over the montains - gorgeous. It's been a little windy so some of the June Gloom has blown away and you could actually see the mountains today. I wanted to make it up to Big Bear. Joanne and I were married there, and I'd like to see it again before I leave. Truth is . . . I don't know when I'll be back here, if ever. Life is unknown but I've got today, or, at least, what's left of it.

Also, I've made my peace with my search for meaning. It's all to complex for me to completely describe right now, but it's about people. And probably most importantly . . . I've learned that wherever I am is exactly where I am supposed to be. Deep huh? Basically what I 'm saying is that I am SUPPOSED to be dealing with this at this time. I am where I am supposed to be. See? I'll keep working on finding my own meaning - it's an idea and concept that is very important to me, but for now it's ok to be in the existential funk. It's all part of the journey.

I've got to meet with the chaplains in the morning and then I am gone. I'm planning on telling good-bye to John W. at noon time, and David and Siprien want to get some lunch, but I don't know if I'll be able to wait that long. We'll see. I am looking forward to the drive. I love driving and I've got enough story to get me home.

Home. I'm going home. But where is "home" really for me now? Is Hays still home even though I left there about 10 years ago. Hmmmmm . . .

I can't wait to see my son. I'm going to get a cheese blast and a funny taco at taco grande. Then it will be off to start my new home in Ohio.

It's time and I am ready. God watch over me and my family.

(I'm going to need it . . .)