Globetrotting, Invective, and Miscellaneous

"“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
~ Rodney Dangerfield

Ok, so I'm back, from the Bahamas no less. I got lots of sun. I spent lots of time sleeping. And more time than I would have liked burning. Those spray-on sunscreens fucking suck. Not only do I have sun burn, but it's all patchy and disease looking.

Anyway, the trip . . . left LAX at 1230 at night and we flew on Spirit airline - DON'T do this. Weird flight hours, crammed-in flying conditions, lost baggage, and flight attendents with the personalities of surgeons . . . you do the fucking math. I'm seriously going to complain. This airline is not like the major airline's less attractive and somewhat slow cousin. This airline is like that cousin's crack-whore, retarded protitute girlfried. Have I lost you on the analogy? Perhaps. Did I take it a little too far? More than likely. Am I question talking? Definitely.

So, once in the Bahama's, at the resort, life is supposed to start getting better right? Parrrrrrrrty! NO! No fucking party. No rooms currently available. Although we were welcome to use any of the amenities (remember we had been flying all night and our baggage was lost). Fuck you sandy white beach and sunny blue sky!!

At this point I am trying to get some traction on the lost luggage. Ok. So, it's going to be on the next flight in. Good. Right? Yes, if you are perhaps living in a part of the world that is not a shit-hole - albeit a sunny and sandy shit-hole (you may not realize this this, but it's not as if the Bahamas is standing on the very cutting edge of cultural development - it's a shit-hole and if it was not for their sunny skies and sandy beaches, they would all have to fuck themselves and their stupid fucking island). Back to the story - so the luggage will be on the next plane, but you have to make sure you have the right hook ups and the right people have fresh, crisp $20's in their hands and or luggage goes into limbo land. So, the right people are bribed, the bags are on the way over, but since we are on "island time" - "don wurry 'bout a 'ting mon!" - here's the thing - I AM worried, VERY, VERY, fucking worried about my bags. The bags, whcih arrived at the aipport around 11:30 AM, actually do not make it up to us until about the same time we are able to get into a room sometime in the LATE afternoon. Fuck "island time".

Relieved and exhausted . . . we sleep.

The rest of the trip was relatively pleasant. Really pleasant actually. Although, I would never go to an "all inclusive" place again. Any chance they have to nickel and dime you (this would colloquially be referred to as: "jewing". As in: "any chance they had to jew you they would". But I will not be using that here. Just a friendly FYI) they would. Want to use a calling card? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Four bucks to use the line please! Fuck them!

All the booze you could drink. My wife and I drink little to none, but there seemed to be a few folks there who seemed to be following the credo: "anyone stupid enough to let you drink as much as you can, deserves to lose money". Their mission seemed to be going rather well, although I'm not entirely convinvced the morning was going to be so fun.

The food was not bad, but it was all prepared by islanders - island style. Imagine, if you will, the "japanese" restraunt on the resort. Not a single asian in sight - not really even japanese food - just island food served with chopsticks. Idiots.

I guess that sums up most of what is fit to poke fun at . . . all in all not a bad time by the end. You have to get used to it.

Now quickly to a few items I'd liek to talk about:

Cursing: I like it. There are times when words like: fuck and shit and pussy and cocksucker are needed because no other word will properly bring together the entire and proper ambiance of the thought without the curse. For instance if I say Hotch is a fucker, that sums up all that you need to know. I could say, Hotch is a cheat, thief, liar, loser, pansy, hippy, but if I call him a fucker you do not need to read all the extra tedium, you understand the thought I am trying to convey.

I do not get to curse in the "real world". I do it here for release. I try not to overdo it or be to gratuitous. If any of this bothers you, please, kindly, go fuck yourself.

Future of this place: I've found that I enjoy this blogging bit. Even if no one seems to stop by or read except me. Everyone else can go fuck themselves because this blog RULES (notice the caps). I have in the works stuff on hate speech, gay "rights", 2nd amendment, global warming, the existece of god, and chewing on many more interesting and controversial topics. All will be written in my classic "fuck you" style.

Anyway. It's late. I'm tired, and I'm off. We shall see you bitches on the flip side.